31 December 2008 @ 04:56 pm
Title: The Letter
Author: colorless_landscape
Chapter: One-shot
Word Count: 1212
Prompt: "You're still in my wildest dream, getting the best of me...the way you used to do" - 'Wildest Dream' by Journey
Rating: PG? For implied malexmale?
Pairing: hide x Hyde
Warnings: Character death
Genre: angst, RP-based, AU
Synopsis: Memories are hard. But sometimes, moving on is harder.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own these boys; I just like to take them out on occasion and play with them.
Author's Note: As always, this is for my beloved Miha ([livejournal.com profile] _defyingtheodds); based on an AU RPG, don't go sending the hounds after me!
sort of a companion fic, but can also be read as a stand-alone, to (in sorta chronological order):
Meet the Parents (colorless_landscape)
Saving the Best For Last ([livejournal.com profile] _defyingtheodds)
2:15 ([livejournal.com profile] _defyingtheodds)
Left Behind ([livejournal.com profile] _defyingtheodds)
Standstill ([livejournal.com profile] _defyingtheodds)
My Immortal (colorless_landscape)
Together We Are Strong (colorless_landscape)
Sunset ([livejournal.com profile] _defyingtheodds)
Side By Side (colorless_landscape)
The Letter (colorless_landscape)

Haruki stood in the center of the bedroom their parents had shared, looking around at the achingly familiar decor. How many times, growing up, had he and his brother crawled into that very bed to the sounds of their Daddy grumbling about bed hogs and their Papa telling him to skoosh over and quit his grumbling and go back to sleep? Even as they’d grown older, into teens, they had always been welcomed into the comforting embrace of their parents no matter the time of day or night.

From the living room, he could hear the sounds of Haruto and Sumire doing the same thing that he was supposed to be doing. It had been only weeks since they had laid their Papa to rest beside their Daddy. Hard as it was, he knew that this had to be done. They had to store away Hyde’s things if they wanted to be able to move forward. Haruki had volunteered to tackle their parents’ bedroom himself. Sumire had told them earlier that she was expecting again. He knew how critical the first few months were, and he wasn’t about to let anything jeopardize the health of his future niece or nephew. Sumire had already done so much for them, been so strong for all of them.

Taking a breath, he sat down on the side of the bed and pulled open the top drawer of the bedside table. Sumire had told them of them letter that she had found the day of Hyde’s funeral, and Haruki thought he had prepared himself for things like that. Grief washed over him anew as he picked up a piece of light blue stationary covered in his Papa’s handwriting that lay on top of a whole stack of what appeared to be similar papers.

Holding it gingerly between his fingers, he got up and moved to the door. More distantly, he could hear little Kiriko playing in the family room. They had found some of Sumire’s old toys for her, and the little one was happily playing with them, not understanding, as any child her age, that her Grandpa was gone, not just away for a while. Not wanting to upset the little one, he called out just loud enough for his siblings to hear.

“’Neechan… Aniki….” (nevermind that both hide and Hyde had refused to tell them which of them had been born first because it didn’t matter, they were equals… they had taken up the habit of each calling the other Aniki as a result) Haruki held up the letter in his hand in answer to their questioning gazes and nodded towards the bedroom.

They joined him in the bedroom and all three sat on the edge of the bed, Sumire between the two boys (now men), never really having outgrown her protective big sister role, even now that they were all adults. Together they read the letter.

My love,

I keep thinking that one day, perhaps, I won’t need to write these letters anymore. I guess to some, it might seem strange to be writing letters to someone who has been gone this long. It doesn’t seem strange to me at all, not really. I know there are our friends who would be more than happy to listen to me, and I appreciate that, but… You were always the only one that I could go to about anything, no matter how silly it was, so it feels only natural for me to write these things down for you, even if you will never be here again to read them, until the day finally comes that I can tell you in person.

Soon, ten years will have passed. Ten long and lonely years that I have lived without you. The boys are grown now, though they have chosen to remain home. You’d be so proud of them. Following in their sister’s footprints, they both studied hard and graduated first from high school and then from college, both with honors. I wish you could have been there for their graduations. Then again, I know that you were. I could feel you beside me, beaming proudly and pumping your fist in the air shouting “That’s MY boy!” as they each crossed the stage.

I can see so much of you in them as time passes. Oh, I know they aren’t biologically ours, but they ARE ours, more than I could have ever thought possible. Haruki is now working under your old buddy as a music producer. Has been since he started college, really. He was offered first an internship while he was in school, and promoted to full-fledged producer the day after he graduated. Haruto works with him, as a writer. I’m glad to see them working so well together. All three of our children are a testament to what a great father you were to them, instilling family values and equality in all of them. I’m glad for that, because no matter what happens, they will always have each other.

I know it’s supposed to get easier to deal with a loss over time. But… it hasn’t. I miss you as much today as I did ten years ago. There were so many things that we wanted to do together that we never got to do. I still often wake up from a particularly good dream of doing those things, only to find your side of the bed empty. That hasn’t gotten any easier to deal with, the knowing that the only place we can do those things is in my dreams.

I have to tell you… I may be seeing you sooner than we thought. I went to the doctor today because I’ve been feeling more tired than usual lately. I tried to tell Sumire that it was just old age, but she insisted, and you know how stubborn she can be. The doctor wouldn’t come right out and say it, would only say that he “wanted to run more tests first”. He did mention cancer, though. I don’t need him to tell me, though, not really. I’m dying. I know this, I can feel it. And I’m okay with that. I’m not telling Sumire or the boys. They would only insist that I do whatever it took to beat it. But I’m ready for this. I stopped living ten years ago. I’m ready to be with you again. Ten years is too long to be separated.

Until I can hold you in my arms again, I’ll see you in my dreams, my love.

There didn’t seem to be anything to say as Sumire laid the letter on the bed with a trembling hand and pulled both her brothers in for a tight family hug. They’d known it had been hard on their Papa when he lost his soul mate, for there was no doubt in any of their minds that was what their parents had been. They hadn’t realized HOW hard until now, but that was in the past. They were together and happy again. The siblings KNEW this because, even in their grief at their own loss, they could feel their parents’ love and warmth surrounding them…

And that made everything right in the world again, even as they dealt with their loss.
Current Mood: accomplished
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