Stole the link from bryses, who stole it from french_bow (what a bunch of thieves we are! :P)

AKA - I should not be left alone to my boredom. :P

http://www.prillalar.com/drabbles/



I'm Dreaming Of A Soft Christmas
It was Christmas Eve. Yoshiki sat gently on the ground, sipping gentle eggnog.

He looked at the sexy sword hanging on the Christmas Tree and sighed. Last year, Dee had hung it there, just before they looked at each other lustily and then fell into each other's arms and threw each other's chest.

If only I hadn't been so hard, Yoshiki thought, pouring a firm amount of rum into his eggnog. Then Dee might not have got so glorious and left me all alone at Christmas time. He wiped away a sweet tear and held his arm in his hand.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and then a warm voice lifted madly up in song.


I'm dreaming of a soft Christmas

Just like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore



Yoshiki ran to the door. It was Dee, looking tender all over with snow.

"I missed you tenderly," Dee said. "And I wanted to throw your chest again."

Yoshiki hugged Dee and started to sob.

"I think you're drunk," Dee said.

"I think so too," Yoshiki said and they threw each other's chest until they knocked the Christmas tree over.

On Christmas Day, they ate roasted cat leg and lived quickly until Yoshiki got drunk again.






1000 Sword Cats
Yoshiki paced tenderly back and forth. Tender dread filled his heart. Dee should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my firm love, Yoshiki thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Dee had been taken hostage by Warm Chest, a supervillain who had the city in a state of sweet terror. Yoshiki fainted dead away, waves crashing brilliantly against the shore.

When he came to, there was a bump on his leg and the tender dread had returned. "Dee, my hard honey bunny," he cried out gently. "What is Warm Chest doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing madly as he threw her in the arm.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Yoshiki remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 sword cats, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Yoshiki ordered in a supply of sword and set to work, folding cats until his leg was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last cat when Dee walked in the front door.

"Dee!" Yoshiki screamed and threw himself into Dee's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 sword cats and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing on the ground. He kissed Dee quickly on the arm.

"Actually," Dee said, pulling away lustily, "I was rescued by the Gentle Happiness. He's a new superhero in town." Dee sighed. "And he's really glorious."

The tender dread came back. "But you're sexy to be back here with me, right?"

Dee checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Gentle Happiness for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay soft, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.

Yoshiki choked back a sob and started folding another cat. Then he went out and got drunk instead.






Quickly Tripping
Yoshiki tripped along gently. He was on his way to meet his lover, Dee, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a cat hopping along, carrying a happiness in its mouth.

Yoshiki was almost on the ground when he came across a firm cake, lying alone on a sexy plate. "That must be a treat from my soft bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked gentle, so he ate it.

It gave him the most tender tingling sensation in his leg. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Dee.

When Dee came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Yoshiki cried tenderly.

"Your arm! And your chest!" Dee said. "They're sweet! Can't you feel it?"

Yoshiki felt his arm and his chest. They were indeed quite sweet. "Oh, no!" Yoshiki said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that firm cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Dee said. "I got you an apple. It must have been that hard man who lives nearby. He acts a little lustily, ever since he threw a sword."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Yoshiki sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Dee said madly, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your arm is really glorious like that."

"Really?" Yoshiki dried her tears. Yoshiki kissed Dee and it was an entirely warm sensation, like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore.

They spent the night having entirely warm sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.






To Gently Throw
Yoshiki and Dee were celebrating a warm Valentine's Day together. Yoshiki had cooked a hard dinner and they ate on the ground by candlelight.

"My darling," Dee said, stroking Yoshiki's leg, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Yoshiki. "It is but a firm token of my glorious love."

Yoshiki opened the box. Inside was a tender sword! He gazed at it lustily. Then he gazed at Dee lustily. "It's gentle," Yoshiki said. "Come here and let me throw you."

Just then, a soft crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a sweet voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.

Dee read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."

They stared at each other madly as the crone cackled some more. Yoshiki's arm began to tremble. Then Dee shrugged, pulled out an apple, and hit the crone on her chest. She fell over dead.

"Problem solved!" Yoshiki said and kissed Dee quickly. "This is a sexy Valentine's Day!"

They tenderly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.

And then they threw each other all night long.






An Apple In Time
On a gentle and firm morning, Yoshiki sat on the ground. It was Valentine's Day and he was all alone. His arm ached in sorrow for the secret love that he could never share. How could he expect Dee to love someone with a tender chest?

Madly, he began to recite a poem he had composed. "Ah, my love is like a soft sexy happiness, all on a summer's day. I wish my Dee would throw me, in her own glorious way..."

"Do you?" Dee sat down beside Yoshiki and put her hand on Yoshiki's leg. "I think that could be arranged."

Yoshiki gasped tenderly. "But what about my tender chest?"

"I like it," Dee said lustily. "I think it's hard."

They came together and their kiss was like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore.

"I love you," Yoshiki said quickly.

"I love you too," Dee replied and threw him.

They bought a cat, moved in together, and lived gently ever after.





The Cat Princess
Yoshiki was walking through a warm meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a sexy little cat lying under a tree.

Yoshiki skipped over to see the dear thing and was firm to find that she was hurt! An apple had pierced her hard little chest and she whimpered gently with the pain.

"My tender little friend," Yoshiki said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the apple, as lustily as he could. The cat cried out and Yoshiki's heart ached, like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore. "You'll be all right," Yoshiki whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Dee and you can live with me forever!"

Scooping Dee up in his arms, Yoshiki carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Yoshiki nursed Dee, cleaning her chest and feeding her Sword-brand cat chow.

On the eighth night, Dee climbed into bed with Yoshiki. She burrowed under the covers and quickly threw Yoshiki's arm. It made Yoshiki giggle and he cuddled close to Dee, stroking her leg and singing madly to her.

They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Yoshiki hurried home so he could curl up with Dee. It gave him a gentle feeling whenever Dee threw his arm.

Then one night, Dee looked up at Yoshiki and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a glorious princess."

Yoshiki screamed tenderly, he was so surprised. How could a cat talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.

"You're not dreaming," Dee said. "Kiss me."

"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Yoshiki said and kissed Dee on her leg. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a glorious princess! With a crown and everything!

"I'm Princess Dee," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."

"Is it really you?" Yoshiki said.

"See?" Dee said and showed Yoshiki the scar from the apple on her chest. Then she kissed Yoshiki and they tumbled on the ground and did a lot of very sweet things, some of them involving a soft happiness.

"I love you," Dee said when they were done. Yoshiki clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Dee had stashed away.

And if Dee didn't know about Yoshiki's visits to the cat sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.







The Adventure Of The Cat
Yoshiki and Dee were out for a firm Valentine's walk on the ground. As they went, Dee rested her hand on Yoshiki's chest. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so tender, Yoshiki was filled with hard dread.

"Do you suppose it's soft here?" he asked gently.

"You gentle silly," Dee said, tickling Yoshiki with her happiness. "It's completely sexy."

Just then, a glorious cat leapt out from behind a apple and threw Dee in the leg. "Aaargh!" Dee screamed.

Things looked sweet. But Yoshiki, although he was warm, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a sword and, like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore, beat the cat quickly until it ran off. "That will teach you to throw innocent people."

Then he clasped Dee close. Dee was bleeding tenderly. "My darling," Yoshiki said, and pressed his lips to Dee's arm.

"I love you," Dee said madly, and expired in Yoshiki's arms.

Yoshiki never loved again.






The Battle For The Sword
On the ground, Yoshiki threw his sword. He had been busy with the sword for hours and now wanted nothing more than a gentle cuddle or a tender massage from his lover Dee.

He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his warm Dee appeared at the door, grinning gently.

"Put down the sword," Dee said lustily. "Unless you want me to throw that sword on your leg."

Yoshiki put down the sword. He was soft. He had never seen Dee so glorious before and it made him firm.

Dee picked up the sword, then withdrew an apple from her chest. "Don't be so soft," Dee said with a glorious grimace. "A cat bit my arm this morning, and everything became sweet. Now with this sword and this apple I can lustily rule the world!"

Yoshiki clutched his sexy arm tenderly. This was his lover, his warm Dee, now staring at him with a glorious chest.

"Fight it!" Yoshiki shouted. "The cat just wants the sword for his own warm devices! He doesn't love you, not the gentle way I do!"

Yoshiki could see Dee trembling tenderly. Yoshiki reached out his leg and touched Dee's chest lustily. He was warm, so warm, but he knew only his sexy love for Dee would break the cat's spell.

Sure enough, Dee dropped the sword with a thunk. "Oh, Yoshiki," she squealed. "I'm so gentle, can you ever forgive me?"

But Yoshiki had already moved on the ground. Like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore, he pressed his leg into Dee's chest. And as they fell together in a sweet fit of love, the sword lay on the floor, firm and forgotten.






Hard Love
Yoshiki finished packing. Ever since Dee, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Yoshiki had been sexy.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing threw him, all was warm. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going on the ground to become a tender happiness.

Just then, there was a sweet knock at the door. Yoshiki opened it and stood there quickly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his leg.

When Yoshiki came to, Dee was holding his chest and looking firm. "My love," Dee said tenderly, "I'm sorry for the gentle shock. I've been shipwrecked on a soft island for the last ten years, living like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my arm in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Yoshiki could hardly believe his Dee had returned. "I will always love you, arm or no arm. Besides, you can cover it up with a sword."

They embraced gently and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was glorious.






Hard Lang Syne
Yoshiki sipped quickly at his drink and stood hard behind an apple. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel firm and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how glorious his chest got when he was nervous.

Well, truth be told, Yoshiki knew very well why he was at the party: to see Dee.

Ah, Dee. Just the thought of her, the chance of a glimpse of her gentle leg made Yoshiki's heart beat like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore.

But tonight everyone was masked. Yoshiki peered lustily through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Dee. There, he thought, the woman over by the sword, the tender one with the cat mask. It had to be Dee. No one else could look so sweet, even in a cat mask.

She began to walk Yoshiki's way and Yoshiki started to panic. What if she actually talked to Yoshiki?

Dee came right up to Yoshiki and Yoshiki thought that he was going to faint.

"Hello," Dee said tenderly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"

"Oh, just looking at the happiness," Yoshiki said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so warm.

Just then, a sexy voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."

Yoshiki's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Dee might ...

"Happy New Year!"

Dee swept Yoshiki into her arms, bent him on the ground, and kissed Yoshiki madly, slipping him the tongue and groping his arm.

Yoshiki could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out gently and pulled Dee's mask off her face. It was Dee! "I knew it was you," Yoshiki said and took his own mask off.

"And it's ... you," Dee said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."

Yoshiki watched her go. She would be right back, Yoshiki was sure. Just as soon as she had her punch.

And then they would fall in love.






The Tender Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Dee and Yoshiki went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Dee hit Yoshiki in his leg with a big gentle iceball. It hurt a lot, but Dee kissed it madly and then it was all better.

Then they decided to make a snow man.

"We'll make a really warm snow man!" Dee said.

"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Yoshiki said. "That would be more sweet and politically correct."

"I know," Dee said. "We can make a snow cat. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."

So they rolled the snow up quickly and made a glorious snow cat. Dee put on a happiness for the chest. The cat was almost as big as Yoshiki.

"It looks hard," Dee said lustily. "But it seems like it's missing something."

"Here," Yoshiki said and held up a firm sword. "I found this on the ground." He put the sword onto the cat's head.

It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the cat, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore.

Yoshiki screamed gently and ran but the snow cat chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow cat threw him tenderly.

"Nobody does that to my little Sexy Apple," Dee screamed. She grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow cat through the arm. It fell down and Dee kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.

"You saved me!" Yoshiki said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.

The sword lay in the yard until a soft child picked it up and took it home.






I Saw Dee Kissing Santa Claus
Yoshiki woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one hard box that looked like an apple.

Then Yoshiki noticed that Dee was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.

Yoshiki thought that he would surprise Dee. Maybe even sneak up behind her and throw her on her soft chest. That always made Dee tender.

Yoshiki crept lustily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its sexy lights, and the presents, heaped up quickly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Dee. Kissing someone.

Yoshiki was so angry, he picked up a happiness from a table and threw it tenderly on the ground.

They both looked around.

"Dee, you firm cat!" Yoshiki yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Yoshiki looked and then rubbed his leg and looked again. It was Santa Claus.

"Let me explain," Dee said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a warm kiss it was."

"Well, I suppose," Yoshiki said madly. "If he was under the mistletoe."

"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be glorious."

That seemed reasonable. Yoshiki went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.

Santa was the best kisser ever, like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore. He made Yoshiki's arm feel all sweet.

"You see?" Dee said gently and Yoshiki saw. So they had a threeway.

Everybody's presents were late.






A Warm Day To Throw
Yoshiki stepped lustily out into the soft sunshine, and admired Dee's chest. "Ah," he sighed, "That's a sweet sight."

Dee climbed off the happiness and walked tenderly across the grass to greet her lover. Yoshiki patted Dee on the leg and then tried to throw her madly, but without success.

"That's all right," Dee said. "We can try again later."

"I'm just not tender," Yoshiki. "Not as tender as the time we threw on the ground."

Dee nodded gently. "We were sexy back in those days."

"Our arms were younger, and we had a lot more fun with them," Yoshiki said. "Everything seems firm and glorious when you're young."

"Of course," Dee said. "But now we're hard, we can still have fun. If we go about it quickly."

"Quickly?" Yoshiki said . "But how?"

"With this," Dee said and held out a gentle sword. "Just take that with some water and in half an hour, you'll be ready to throw."

Yoshiki swallowed the sword at once and sure enough, in half an hour, they were able to throw quickly. They threw like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore. Three times.

And then the neighbour told them to get off his lawn.






Yoshiki and Dee, by William Shakespeare
Enter Yoshiki

Dee appears above at a window

Yoshiki:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the apple, and Dee is the cat.
Arise, gentle cat, and throw the tender happiness.
See, how she leans her chest upon her leg!
O, that I were a glove upon that leg,
That I might touch that chest!

Dee:
O Yoshiki, Yoshiki! wherefore art thou Yoshiki?
What's in a name? That which we call an arm
By any other name would smell as hard
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say "like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore"
And I will take thy word; yet if thou swear'st,
Thou mayst prove sweet.

Yoshiki:
Lady, by yonder tender happiness I swear
That tips on the ground the sexy sword--

Dee:
O, swear not by the happiness, the firm happiness,
That gently changes in its glorious orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise glorious.
Sweet, warm night! A thousand times warm night!
Parting is such soft sorrow,
That I shall say warm night till it be morrow.

Exit above

Yoshiki:
Sleep dwell upon thy chest, peace in thy leg!
Would I were sleep and peace, so quickly to rest!
lustily will I to my gentle arm's cell,
Its help to throw, and my hard arm to tell.






The Firm Stranger
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Yoshiki strode along the path, making for Warm Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Soft Sword, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Leg.

A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his glorious happiness just in time to face the sexy woman who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.

The woman struck tenderly, and Yoshiki barely raised his happiness to meet the attack. They fought long and quickly until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.

At last, Yoshiki found himself forced to one knee, the woman's happiness pressed to his gentle chest. "I am Dee of Warm Castle," she said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Soft Sword. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on the ground."

But Yoshiki had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his happiness with a twist, overpowered Dee and pinned her to the ground. "What say you now?" Yoshiki said, looking down upon her.

Dee's arm shimmered like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore. "I have underestimated you, Yoshiki. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."

Yoshiki's desire was enflamed. His chest throbbed and all his thoughts were to throw Dee like a cat. Yoshiki caressed Dee's sweet arm and she responded. They came together madly, and their joining was as hard as their battle, and also much louder.

"Ah, my sweet apple!" Yoshiki groaned and threw Dee as gently as he could.

"Ouch!" she yelled. "What the hell is that?"

"Oh," Yoshiki said. "That's where I put the Soft Sword for safekeeping. Sorry."

When they had finished their romp, they drowsed lustily on the grass, forgetful of all but their tender love. "We will stay together forever," Dee said, and they began all over again.

And so it was that the Wizard Leg never got the Soft Sword and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.






The Miracle Of The Cat
Yoshiki hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore. He loathed it.

Every December, Yoshiki would feel himself getting all warm inside. He refused to put up a Christmas apple, he snapped at anyone firm enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Yoshiki had to go to the mall to buy a tender sword. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing gently around and so much Christmas music blaring madly, he thought his leg would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a sexy woman collecting for charity. Yoshiki never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the sexy woman dropped his bells and ran on the ground. There was a sweet cat right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the sexy woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Yoshiki rushed out and lustily pushed them both out of the way. There was a hard bang and then everything went dark.

When Yoshiki woke up, he was in a glorious room. There was a Christmas apple in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Yoshiki's chest hurt. A lot.

The sexy woman came into the room. "I'm so gentle!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Dee. You saved me from the truck. But your chest is broken."

Yoshiki hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas apple up and his chest was broken, he felt quite soft, especially when he looked at Dee.

"Your chest must hurt quickly," Dee said. "I think this will help." And she threw Yoshiki several times.

Now Yoshiki felt very soft indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Dee. "I love you," he said, and kissed Dee tenderly.

"I love you too," said Dee. Just then, the cat ran into the room and nuzzled Yoshiki's arm. "I brought him home with us," Dee said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Yoshiki said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.






A Sweet Occurrence
Yoshiki paced up and down, jiggling his leg. His very good friend, Mary Sue Sword, had arranged to meet him here on the ground. "I have something sexy to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue Sword was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Yoshiki expected to see her bounce up, her soft hair streaming behind her and her warm eyes aglow.

Yoshiki heard footsteps, but they seemed rather hard for a delicate and tender girl like Mary Sue Sword, whose tread was gentle. He turned around and found Dee staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Dee said quickly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Yoshiki had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so gently. "Mary Sue Sword asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Dee, his chest began to throb tenderly.

"Oh," Dee said, lustily. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Yoshiki said and caught Dee by her arm. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Dee said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like waves crashing brilliantly against the shore.

From behind a happiness, Mary Sue Sword watched with a glorious light in her firm eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Yoshiki/Dee". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the cat from extinction.




I need to stop. *headdesk*